The Elites versus The Hat Models
by PixelsShattered
Summary: Nine of the most elite Specialists from across the globe are facing a new enemy. Mysterious, powerful, and cunning, this new enemy will be a challenge to overcome, and a grueling battle certainly awaits. Or does it? Can the Black Ops face the Reliable Excavation and Demolition mercenaries in a one-life arena deathmatch to the bitter end? Also, Scout hits on Outrider.
1. Chapter 1

**A/N: Well, I mean, this is kinda just something that I thought would be funny. Nine elite Specialists versus nine… hat models? I dunno, but who** _ **wouldn't**_ **want to see the greatest deathmatch since Goku vs Superman?**

0-0-0-Black Ops, Outrider-0-0-0

The nine of us boarded the VTOL Dropship, prepared for battle. Everything was on the line today. No respawn, or something like that. Medical teams would be nearby, but we all accepted that this flight could be our last. Besides, this had happened before. Sure, I almost died, and we had to get a new Reaper, but other than that, everything went swimmingly. I was designated sniper for the team, so my job was first contact. First, lethal, unfriendly contact.

0-0-0-Scout, Reliable Excavation and Demolition-0-0-0

Today was another fight. A deathmatch this time, and not against the BLUs like normal. Some other guys from god-knows-where wanted to challenge us, and the Admin had no problem with that. To be honest, we hadn't really had a deathmatch in quite a while. Hopefully these chucklenuts would be fun to fight, since the BLUs were really getting disappointing to crush every other fight. Who knows, maybe they'd even have a girl on their team. Now THAT, would be fun.

0-0-0-Prophet, Black Ops-0-0-0

The ship continued its flight, and I was bored. I wasn't going to complain, of course, because I was likely on my way to die, so I was glad this plane was taking it's sweet time. I couldn't find much intel on the enemy. None at all, really. Just a few companies, Mann Co., Reliable Excavation and Demolition, and Builder's League United. I did manage to find one file on a man named Mundy, but that was pretty much it. Mundy wasn't a special person, just an ordinary man from nowhere, from what I could tell. The only things listed were his height and favorite hat. Why either of those were relevant was beyond me, but obviously Mann Co. needed to know it. If that's all these enemies are, this is gonna be all too easy…

0-0-0-Soldier, Reliable Excavation and Demolition-0-0-0

Miss Pauling came by with new weapons. New weapons! At least, they looked new. They had the same shape as the other, normal guns, but there was something different about them… Something strange. Medic said it was because the shotgun I brought him was colored bright orange and blue, but that couldn't be it. Maybe they had magic powers? That's probably it. And what's this? NEW ENEMIES! New enemies to shoot! Muhehehehehe, this is going to be fun.

0-0-0-Firebreak, Black Ops-0-0-0

We'd hit some turbulence. Nice. My thoughts wandered to the new team we would be facing. Hopefully they were a livelier bunch than those CDP cronies. Hopefully they'd be more fun to kill. I hadn't really lit anything on fire for quite a long time, come to think of it. I guess that's going to change today.

0-0-0-Demoman, Reliable Excavation and Demolition-0-0-0

Scout was quite the bitter lad. Yesterday, I blew up the nest he'd been picking at for a few minutes. Best explosion I ever saw. Everything went everywhere, machine parts, body parts, it was great. I got a fresh crate of scumpy that night too, so I'd say yesterday was a good day. I heard that we'd be fighting some new bunch this time. I'll bet they'll be more fun to blow up than those rotten BLUs. I tell ya, those fools never learn.

0-0-0-Battery, Black Ops-0-0-0

This flight was taking quite a long time. From what I'd heard, there were some new group we'd be fighting today. No respawns, either, which was odd, but the Commander said the other team had insisted on it being so. These guys really knew how to have a good time, I'll say that much. I bet we'll be able to wipe the floor with these idiots. Maybe not even lose a single guy in the process. Yeah, that's what we'll do.

0-0-0-Heavy, Reliable Excavation and Demolition-0-0-0

Doctor said there would be new baby men to squash. Heh, that'll be good, little BLUs are getting boring to fight. Sasha wants new people to kill, too, so it is win-win. But, does other team have a doctor? Do that have charge? I guess there's only one way to find out.

0-0-0-Serapah, Black Ops-0-0-0

I picked the worse seat possible. To my left was the tight-lipped Outrider, and to my right was the very loud Ruin. Couldn't anyone just have a normal dropship ride anymore? Guess not. I wonder what these new guys we'll be fighting are up to They'd better be making a plan, because fighting some disorderly bunch is stupid. Fighting a team is good, because watching them plunge into disorder is the best part.

0-0-0-Engineer, Reliable Excavation and Demolition-0-0-0

Gah, nothing. This new team is hard to pin down. I've got pings from everywhere, so whoever they are, they want to remain a secret. Nods in Brazil, America, India, even some factory in Taiwan. Preparation is key, I learned that the first day on the job. Apparently, there would be some sort of deathmatch-esque battle, but the Admin was as unresponsive as ever. Some sort of respawn-outside-the-arena thing. Maybe it's just budget cuts again.

0-0-0-Ruin, Black Ops-0-0-0

I can't believe we have to fly so far out just to fight some gangly team of hat models. At least, that's what Prophet called them. Maybe it's some sort of code. Oooh, a secret code. Serapah wouldn't talk to me, and Reaper was never one for conversation, so for now, I'll keep it to myself. I'll bet they're super-soldiers, like us. Maybe aliens. Maybe both.

0-0-0-Medic, Reliable Excavation and Demolition-0-0-0

I took a look at the bill. 590 dollars for just seven livers. Demoman better start helping pay for these, because I can't just keep buying black market organs at this price. It'd probably be better is I just grew my own. Maybe this new team has a few to spare. Maybe this new team is just a bunch of livers. With the things the Administrator puts us through, I wouldn't be surprised. At least they aren't the BLUs, because their Medic is a real jerk. Maybe this team won't even have a medic.

0-0-0-Spectre, Black Ops-0-0-0

Oh, god, Nomad smelled awful. Even through my filtered facemask I could smell it. How is it just now that I noticed? If we weren't already so close, I would get up and change seats. Maybe it that stupid mud he insists on having smeared across every inch of his body. At least the other team will be able to smell him coming, or maybe it'll disorient them so badly we'll just sweep them.

0-0-0-Sniper, Reliable Excavation and Demolition-0-0-0

I laid back on the couch of my van. Peace and quiet. Lunch with the others is not exactly enjoyable, especially when Soldier refuses to eat Heavy's cooking because "IT'S LACED WITH COMMUNISM!" Watching Heavy nearly tear Soldier limb from limb was funny, though. Anyway, this new team. They certainly weren't the BLUs, which was nice for a change. That BLU spy is just so bloody annoying. The battlefield was different, too, the only thing I'd heard was the name. Genesis.

0-0-0-Nomad, Black Ops-0-0-0

This was taking too long. Way too long. AT least there's be some fresh meat on the other side, though. Not the CDP slobs either, some brand new team. A gang of nobodies from nowhere was all I could find about them. The weird thing was that radar wasn't allowed for this battle either. And some sort of displaced respawn, too. Like, after we die, we just have to watch the battle. How boring.

0-0-0-Spy, Reliable Excavation and Demolition-0-0-0

A new team? And new map? Why was this happening? Not that I was afraid, but it was all just too strange. At least the gamemode was familiar, but why the Administrator even wanted to accept this new team was beyond me. Perhaps it was some sort of test. Some sort of extension of Mann Co, maybe? Whatever the reason may be, the team that was picked is a strange one. From what I could gather, they're fast, strong, tough, the best of the best. They were secretive too. Whatever organization had them was a real quiet one. At least we'll find out on the field of battle.

 **A/N: Not much to say, but, hey, this is gonna be a nice little two-shot when it's done. Maybe a two-shot split over 7 or 8 chapters, depending on how far I go with it. Until then, I've been Pix, and thanks for reading!**


	2. Chapter 2

**A/N: Huh, I thought there would be a few more Team Fortress/Call of Duty crossovers, given they are polar opposites of each other, and that's always fun to deal with. By the way, here's my headcanon: The Black Ops, in pursuit of more advanced technologies, catch wind of a frontier science company named Aperture. In their pursuit of this elusive corporation, they find Mann Co., the head of which, claims she has connections with Aperture, but offers a competition first. Her nine mercenaries versus Black Ops nine specialists in a single-life elimination arena challenge. If Black Ops wins, they go on their merry way and get directions to Aperture. Lose, and Mann Co. receives Black Op's team of nine as a prize. Hopefully that helps. Anyway, it's time for pre-battle run-ins!**

0-0-0-Scout, Reliable Excavation and Demolition-0-0-0

Of course, something just had to go wrong. This time, some big tree fell onto our battleground, and we'd be waiting a few days for them to clean it up. Medic had gone out to grab some medical crap and Sniper was doing whatever he does in that van of his. Spy was god-knows-where and Heavy was cleaning Sasha. Again. I wasn't gonna even try and pry Pyro away from whatevr kiddie show that freak was watchin', Engie was tinkering his stupid workshop, so that left Soldier and Demo. Perfect.

"Hey Demo! Solly!" I yelled across the commons to the two explosive experts, who were paroosing gun magazines. "I'm goin' to grab a drink. Wanna come with?" Of course, they wouldn't decline such an offer, and I needed someone to drive anyway. I suck at that. The two practically jumped from their chairs, and I could tell they were equally bored as I was with the delay of our deathmatch.

We squeezed into Soldier's truck, with Solly driving, Me in the middle, and Demo on the passenger side. It was a short drive from RED base to town, but it doesn't take long to notice the slight sulfur smell that follows the two from their years of explosive jumping. Downtown Tuefort was a reletivly small place, maybe four times the size of RED base total, and because of that, it was very easy to navigate. Combine that with the lack of lead-free water, and the roads were rarley jammed. We pulled into the only bar we were allowed to visit in the city, the Saxton.

0-0-0-Outrider, Black Ops-0-0-0

As the team readied for battle, intel came in. A large tree fell onto the arena and was being dealt with, but the battle was postponed. Nice. I began removing the combat gear I'd already put on, which is to say, not much, and put on something comfortable. It was the first time in ages that Black Ops was being the guest, and Mann Co. was one hospitable company. Each of us got our own separate rooms, with soundproof walls and hot water. That wasn't always availible back at Headquarters. A woman (Pauling, was it?) came by and informed each of us that our commanders saw it fine for us to go downtown, as long as we didn't get ourselves killed. How hard could that be? Not soon after came Ruin, Seraph, and Prophet, who were going out to check out the local bar and asked if I'd tag along. Sure, why not.

We drove around for awhile, I suspected Ruin didn't know where he was going. I didn't blame him either, as the place looked like it was straight out of the 1950's. Eventually, we found a quaint little place called the Saxton.

The outside wasn't much to behold. Faded windows gave little idea to what the interior held, and the wooden walls, although sturdy, appeared to be ready to fall off at any moment. The sign depicted a man, presubable the owner, with a cheezy grin and hat lined with sharp teeth, clutching two barrels and riding a crocodile. The inside was slightly more impressive, with tables scattered about with a few customers, and three men conversing with another man behind the bar, who I recognized as the same man on the sign. Only as the owner stepped away to greet us could I fully get a picture of how giant he was. He bore no shirt, and his chest hair grew into a perfect bust of Australia. He had the same hat as on the sign, and thankfully did wear shorts, as well as hiking boots.

"Ah, new faces! Name's Saxton, President of Mann Co., forth richest man in the world, and owner of this here bar." He introduced himeslf as he extended a massive hand, which Ruin returned. "Name's Don, and this is Dave, Les, and Zhen."

"Ah, aren't you the guys Helen flew in to fight her guys?" He asked. I guess the head of the company would know those kind of things. "Yeah, we are, but the thing got set back." Prophet answered. "Well, you guys are gonna have one hell of a time trying to put her mercs down. But I'm getting off track, now, what can I get ya?" Ruin gestured randomly at a brand on the board, Prophet did the same, Seraph chose some import she knew, and I took whatever the special was.

I sat on the edge of our group, with only two seats between me and the other three. Seraph wasn't much of a talker, so I eavesdropped on the neighboring party. "You shoulda seen it, man. I got the doc before the heavy noticed, y'know, but right as I tried to go in and get 'im, Sniper stole my kill! And y'know how the BLU snipes loves t'ah try 'n hit me? Well I got 'im following me and I ran up the battlement where our guy hangs out, and BANG!" At that, the two other men burst out laughing. Was he talking about some video game? 'No, it gets better!" He continued, "So like half an hour later when Sniper got outta respawn, he was lookin' for me cuz he figured I did it on purpose, which I did, but he found the BLU Spy disguised as me! 'nd he started yellin at the guy, and I could hear it, so I watched from the door, and he started spitting all this crap at 'im, and the spy has no idea what's goin on, y'know, so he apologizes like, with my voice, and sticks his hand out to shake it, and when Snipes took it, the slippery little jerk did some fancy move and backstabbed 'im!" And with that, the two other men laughed even harder. At this point, I'd believe he was drunk, but his speech was perfectly clear. Boston, no doubt, but perfectly clear. None of that telltale hitch, either. Lost in my thoughts, I almost didn't notice Saxton had come back around with our drinks.

0-0-0-Scout, Reliable Excavation and Demolition-0-0-0

Those guys next to us were a weird bunch. They weren't from around here, that much was obvious. I mean, Tuefort was a very small town, so knowing everybody is no challenge. Word flies fast, and it didn't take a genuis to figure out who these people were. "Hey Demo, Solly, betcha each a hat those guys next to us are the new guys we'll be fighting," I whispered to the other two mercs. Demo raised his (only) eyebrow, and Soldier grinned. "Well lad, go find out, why dontcha?" Demo pressed. I smirked as I got up from my seat and walked over to the four strangers. I nervously rubbed my hands together and greeted the group.

"Hey, you guys new around here?" I started. One of the men opened his mouth to speak, but was cut off by one of the girls, who didn't care to turn around and left the hood of her sweatshirt up. "Depends," she spoke, "Was all that crap you were spweing to your friends true?" She was listening to me? Heh, I'll bet it impressed her to no end. Maybe after this whole battle thing blows over… "You know it, every word's true baby!" I responded. At that, one of the men stood up and walked over to me. He was taller, but by maybe only an inch, and he looked a lot like Demo, but he had two eyes. They had funny colors, too, not like a normal person's eyes. He stuck out his hand as to shake mine. "Boy, I want you to take my hand." He told me. Huh. I put my hand over his, and noticed how cold it was. Slick too, almost as if it wasn't his hand. Almost like Grey's stupid bots. He squeezed my hand. Hard, and I could feel plenty of little bones popping and snapping inside. "Now, go back to your little friends and don't speak to us again. Next time we talk, it'll be with our guns on your boss's battlefeild." I was holding back the instinct to yell for Medic, who was two miles away doing some organ shopping or whatever. With that guy's ears, he'd probably end up coming too. Without a word, I walked back over to the two explosive experts, who were doing their best to control their laughter. With a horribly disfigured hand and a damaged ego, I sat back down. "You two owe me some hats now" I retorted.

0-0-0-Outrider, Black Ops-0-0-0

"Thanks, Dave" I thanked Prophet as he returned to his seat. _Don't get yourself killed._ I could see how those words were nescissary now. There was something up with this entire place. As cool as Saxton seemed, he seemed off his rocker, and I heard the boy make a bet for "hats". From what I could guess, I was sure that he meant literal hats. If I heard someone say that back at base, I'd think it was a code, but in this place, these guys were definitly being literal. After a few minutes, the guys left, and everythign was quiet. AT the end of the day, I'd say it was a rather successful trip. We got some good beers, had a good time, and met the enemy. And what an interesting enemy they were.

 **A/N: Well, we've got one vote for the Mercs versus zero votes for the Specialists. Not that I'm deciding the outcome by voting, but I just thought it was a nice stat. Also, one of my bros opened an account (The Odyssey Writer is his name) and if you're a fan of pokemon, this is the guy to check out. Like no joke, he writes better than I ever could and the plot he showed me is amazing. Deathmatch begins next chapter!**


	3. Chapter 3

**A/N: Well, apparently the TF2 cast has the popular vote today. Eh, doesn't really matter, but it's kinda interesting. Personally, I figured that the Specialists would have the advantage with their tactical approach and professional training, but hey, whatever works. Each chapter, one character is eliminated until we get to a winner, and today, the battle for ultimate glory begins. Also, I'm shortening the RED team suffix because it had breaks and I don't want that for my mobile readers.**

0-0-0-Demoman, RED-0-0-0

I grabbed my trusty grenade launcher, fresh with a paintjob and wrapped in Christmas lights, along with my matching stickybomb launcher. With the modified rules, I also strapped on my Chargin' Targe, and slipped the Eyelander into the sheath across my back. With extra room still, I stepped into Ali Baba's Wee Booties, and threw my B.A.S.E. Jumper over the ghost sword's massive sheath. Apparently, the rule today was six items max, and the other team had a similar ruleset. The arena today was massive, so each of us were to be deployed into randomized spots on one side of the battlefield, with the other team being deployed in random spots on the other side. With fifteen minutes, I treated myself to (another) bottle of scrumpy and observed my other teammates. I noticed Solly had decided to take two shotguns, along with his signature rocket launcher, Gunboats, and a parachute of his own.

Scout had two pistols, his trademark Scattergun, also painted and festivized. He also carried his wooden baseball bat, the Sandman, and a few baseballs.

Sniper decided his purple, equally festive, tiger-striped rifle was the best choice, along with two SMGs and his Danger Shield. I noticed he also took two of his Kukris instead of the usual one.

Our Medic chose to go with his original Medigun, with the head of one of Grey's robots tied to the barrel. The doctor also opted for his syringe crossbow and Ubersaw, and seemed to have a fairly standard loadout.

Spy, however, had a very non-standard loadout, as he decided to carry two of his watches, the Cloak and Dagger and Dead Ringer, as well as his butterfly knife and a blade hidden in the cuffs of his suit. He also chose two revolvers, his Ambassador in hand and L'Etranger in the pocket of his jacket.

The masked Pyro had two of his flare guns, his stock flamethrower, plus a colorful paint done by the Pyro itself, two shotguns across his(?) back, and a mailbox. Pyro was the first who really thought of painting the guns, and after Hale saw it, he made them Mann Co. Standard. Not really, he just had Mann Co. mass produce them and sell them back to us in crates. On the upside, they could be strange or unusual this time around, so they'd match our hats.

0-0-0-Outrider, Black Ops-0-0-0

After being linked into Mann Co.'s respawn system, as well as taking a test ride, my team sat around the common room, gathering our weapons and readying ourselves for the battle. With the slightly raised attachment cap, I decided to put a silencer on my LOCUS rifle, as well as a long barrel, extended magazines, full metal jackets, and a modified bolt for faster firing speed. For my two burst pistols, I opted for extended mags and long barrels. I also strapped a combat knife and a hatchet to my belt, as well as two flashbangs. With just one spot left, I took an HE grenade. Better safe than sorry. For my perks, I chose to run Afterburners, Sixth Sense (which, without radar, just enhanced my existing senses), and Dead Silence.

As the rest of my team gathered their weapons and mods, I started thinking back to the encounter at the Saxton. Our enemies were definitely going to be different than others my team's fought in the past, but they don't seem incredibly difficult. Of course, those could be the weirdest of the nine for all I know. I guess it was only a matter of time before I figured out. Of course, I shared the details about the three we'd met with the rest of the team, and they were as likeminded as I. After we all readied up, Miss Pauling came in to show us to our teleporters. For looking straight out of last century, this place was surprisingly advanced.

We made our ways into the room, which had stark-white tile walls and an out-of-place shower drain, and across the room were nine small floor-mounted blue helicopter-looking devices. Without warning, the devices began spinning, and created what looked to be a translucent blue circular platform. "The other team is ready, as soon as all nine of you are on, you'll be teleported in. Good luck!" Pauling called as she hurriedly made her way out of the room and down a hallway. Hm, easy enough. We each stepped on to the solid blue platforms, and were whisked into the arena.

I stepped off of the identical platform, and reached for solid ground. I sat down, letting the dizziness go away, and took in my surroundings. Around me were thick, tall trees, and off in the distance, I could see an equally tall, rustic building. I felt essentially blind here, as radar was not allowed, along with radio. As I stood up, I looked back at the blue teleporter, only to see it in pieces, sparking. Feeling incredibly exposed, I set out, with plans to get a tree near the tall building and camp there.

0-0-0-Spy, RED-0-0-0

This was certainly a new sect of Mann Co. land, as it wasn't in any records as of yet. Still, this entire diversion was odd. The BLUs, whom we had just fought two days ago, were suddenly knocked out of the scene by this new team that was _not_ created to be equally balanced with us. Even for the Administrator, this was odd. Miss Pauling did not know why this was happening either, but that was expected. I activated my invisibility watch and headed off in the most likely direction the enemy would be. Of course, we had the advantage, as the odds this other team was equipped with one-of-a-kind Uber technology was farfetched at best. Not to say they didn't have any sort of ace in the hole that we couldn't fight, but from the little information I could find, they were a fairly standard military organization, linked closely with the American Military and Special Forces. If we were fighting a bunch of Navy SEALs, then I would place my bets on us. Enough thinking, I thought, as I heard a sound in the forest near me. I stopped, and listened, still fully invisible. I watched, and our Medic emerged from the treeline. I disguised as the BLU Scout. The real Medic would be able to tell, but an enemy in disguise would attack. I came out from behind a tree, and did a perfect "Holy crap!" in the BLU's voice.

"Gah, zhere you are, Herr Spy. I figured you'd be the hardest to find!" the German doctor exclaimed as I dropped my disguise. "Good to see you, doctor. Have you run into anyone else?" I asked, hoping for the locale of my teammates, or at the very least, an enemy. "I vas taking fire a while back, but I made it vithout a scratch, and I zhink I lost zhem" I sighed. "Let us go find another teammate better suited to your aid, doctor." I proposed, and we set off to find the Soldier, Heavy, or possibly Demoman.

0-0-0-Ruin, Black Ops-0-0-0

I shook my head, still a bit dizzy from the abrupt teleport in. I had chosen to bring a BMR LMG and RK5 burst pistol as my weapons for this match. This arena was quite nice, unlike any other we had. It was very open, very big, and appeared to exist instead of being a simulation per the norm. Around me, I could see trees going off one way, and a large, wooden structure not too far away. Best I make my way there, I guessed, and set off. This place was very big for a nine versus nine, so I figured Mann Co. wanted a long battle. From those guys we ran into at the bar, I was feeling rather confident in our chances. I mean, we had our share of looneys, but they looked like they'd be chock-full.

As I approached the building, I noticed a soft beeping noise coming from within. _Beep,Beep,Beep,_ then it stopped, then again, _Beep,Beep,Beep._ I peeked into the doorway, and immediately threw myself back as bullets and rockets flew past me. Some sort of automated turret, I figured. How could they get a Scorestreak so soon, if no kills were even made? I guess it doesn't matter now, but there had to be some loophole. I made my away around the large building, and eventually found another door, this time without a turret guarding it. The entire thing was made of wood, save the dirt floor, but it acted extremely damage-resistant, as the turret's rockets and bullets didn't penetrate it, and barely seemed to leave a mark. I was running FMJs, but I didn't want to test the walls right now, with an enemy in close proximity. I made my way up a ramp and into another room, where a window game me a view out into the field before the building. The field went on very far, before dead-ending into the trees, just before the rocky cliff-face that acted as the boundaries. The cliffs continued out in both directions and made a full circle around the area, with the only thing noticeable past them was a small building at the top, presumably some sort of monitoring building for the area.

0-0-0-Enginner, RED-0-0-0

Good night Irene. I got up out of my Rancho Relaxo chair and whacked my sentry once more to replenish its ammo. Well, I caught a glimpse of one of the enemies. He looked fairly normal as far as people come. If he would've kept his head there a second longer, I'd have the first kill. Whatever, I heard him walk off along the side, and from what I could find, this part didn't link to that part of the building, but just to be safe, I deployed a Mini-sentry near the hallway behind me. I went back to my chair, not wanting to track him down. Either way, that was someone else's job, since I was just here to hold this place until some other teammates arrived. Of course, I was nervous, as anyone would be, but years of sitting on the battlefield conditioned me to tune it out. I sighed and leaned back in my chair, hoping they would arrive.

 **A/N: Well, no deaths this chap, but Ruin almost lost his head, so yeah. Until nect time, I've been Pix, and thank for reading!**


	4. Chapter 4

**A/N: Hey, guess what I did? Got to many stories going again! Anyway, we've got a vote for the Specialists finally, so that's cool. This chapter, somebody dies, so don't** _ **flame**_ ***coughforeshadowingcough* me. Please.**

0-0-0-Engineer, RED-0-0-0

I got out of my chair once more to be greeted by Spy and Medic, neither of whom appeared to be hurt. We quickly swapped stories and intel about what we'd seen and decided to defend this place as long as possible. We REDs were very good at defending, it's what we did all day against the BLUs. Spy figured he would be better off on his own, and made his way around the building to pursue the unsuspecting attacker Engie had seen.

0-0-0-Firebreack, Black Ops-0-0-0

This place was, well, unconventional, but it was sure nice. I decided to wander towards the other side, to where the enemies supposedly spawned in. I made my way around a large tree to see a person, clad in a full body fireproof suit with a respirator tank on his back. Well, Prophet wasn't kidding, this guy had a ton of hats. His weapon looked ridiculous, too, as if he made it by himself, and to top all that, it was wrapped in Christmas lights! I took out my Purifier, a true modern masterpiece of pyrotechnics if I do say so myself, and charged the suited figure.

Right before the very extent of my flames reached him, however, I was shot back with a huge blast of air and, before I could regain my footing, was smacked in the face by two signal flares. I swung the purifier across my back and whipped out my Razorback SMG and opened fire, hoping I could spray the masked abomination down. He dove behind a tree and I stopped to reload, before brandishing my Purifier once again. I silently made my way up to the tree, but made the mistake of poking the head of my flamethrower around the tree, and he saw it. The man jumped out, grabbing the head of my Purifier in one hand and holding his shotgun in the other, and blasted my clear in the chest, knocking me back.

Gah, man, that hurt, a few of the pellets broke my Kevlar and embedded themselves in my flesh. DNI says I'm not going to die, so that's good. I got up off the ground to see the man with my purifier in hand, slowly approaching. I panicked, my gear scattered all around after most of the belts and holders broke from the shotgun blast, but managed to find my MR6 pistol still in its holster. I fired at the masked person, hoping that a headshot would be enough to take him down. I hit a few shots in his chest, but he kept coming, picking up the pace a bit. I emptied the magazine and went to reload, but he kicked me to the ground and pressed the head of the Purifier under my mash, flipping up the faceplate. The last thing I saw was him curiously tilt his head and mumble something, before searing my face off.

0-0-0-Pyro, RED, 5 minutes ago-0-0-0

I made my way through the cotton candy forest, Ballonicorn following close behind. As I rounded a bend, I saw a cherub guy who looked kinda like me, but armored in candycorn and had his own, fancier rainbow thrower. He started to run at me, and figured that he wanted some sugar, so I fired a blast of streamers, confetti, and sugar out of my rainbow maker at him.

He flew back, laughing, and I continued, shooting two gumballs to him, which he caught with his face and laughed again. Then, he dropped his rainbow thrower and pulled out a licorice gun. Ew, I hated licorice, so I hid behind the trunk of a cotton candy tree and waited until he ran out. Soon enough, the man poked his rainbow thrower playfully around the tree, and I pulled out a candy cane whist grabbing at the end of his rainbow gun. I launched a bunch of chocolate all over his chest and he went flying back again, this time landing on his back.

Oh, my bad. I picked up his rainbow thrower to go see if he was hurt. The man laughed once again and stood up, but Ballonicorn nudged him back down to the ground. I took his rainbow thrower and shifted up his mask to see his face and filled it with rainbows. He giggled and laughed until he could no longer see, his eyes filled with happy tears. Then, he rolled over and decided to take a nap. Well, now that he was good and happy, time to go on to the next one.

I gently laid his rainbow thrower next to him, and continued through the woods.

0-0-0-Scout, RED-0-0-0

I was startled by the Admin's voice coming over the loudspeakers concealed in every other tree.

"Firebreak, Black Ops, was toasted by Pyro, RED" the promptly stated, before cutting the feed. Nice, already got it down to nine on eight, and Pyro got what sounds like their pyro, so no more fire on the field, right? I dunno, but I continued making my way through the trees, and up a rocky face that led to a landing I thought I saw a gun barrel sticking out of.

I climbed to almost the top, and stopped. I assumed it was their sniper, but it could be ours for all I knew. I gripped my scattergun with one hand, and vaulted myself up the face with the other, where I came face to face with the shining, Unusual-wearing RED Sniper. I sighed and lowered my gun, as he lowered his SMG, and we swapped what we knew. Sniper said he's seen two guys going around to the main building, and a third darting around in the trees. We were, however, both confident in our chances of winning this match, as our Pyro already had the first kill.

I decided to wait with Sniper, much to his annoyance, but I promised to be quiet, plus, I was tired of running.

0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0

 **A/N: well, the TF team has the first kill under their collective belt, but Black Ops still has a fighting chance. Current polls have the TF2 guys winning, and I'll probably put a poll on my page, so vote there too. Anyway, until next chapter, I've been Pix, thanks for reading!**


	5. Chapter 5

**A/N: Heyyyyy, new chapter, and I've gotta say, this one's gonna be pretty cool. Currently the vote is Black Ops: 2, RED Team: 2 (just a stat, I've already decided who wins) so without further ado, I guess here we go.**

0-0-0-Scout, RED-0-0-0

I sat next to our prone Sniper, who was scanning the area for hostiles. For a few minutes, it was quiet and I almost considered getting back up and running off, but I wasn't about to run off and get killed. The Admin took these kind of challenges real seriously for whatever reason, and dying early on meant less pay, which sucks.

Suddenly, Sniper shoved me down as a bullet pounded into the rock I was leaning on. Sniper wildly brought his scope to his eye and shot in the rough direction of where the shot came from. I jumped off the ledge we were seated on and winced as another sniper shot narrowly missed my head. Sniper countered with another wild shot of his own, which I assumed to be as accurate as the one fired at me.

I rushed in the direction the enemy sniper was, scattergun in hand, and spotted a green hooded figure in the tree brandishing a sniper rifle. They were still far out of Scattergun range, and by the time I was close enough, the person noticed me and quickly began hopping between the trees.

I wasn't about to be out-scouted, so I took off after the fleeing sniper. They were faster than I, and I gave up chasing the tree-hopper and stopped to catch my breath. I dug through my bag and puled out a can of Bonk! Atomic Punch to quench my thirst and began downing the slightly radioactive soda.

0-0-0-Outrider, Black Ops-0-0-0

I poked my head out of my hiding place among the canopy of the forested arena and noticed my pursuer had stopped for a rest. I positioned my sniper rifle and aimed to plant one between the kid's (whom I recognized from the bar) eyes. I grinned and clicked the trigger.

And he dodged the bullet?!

I rifled another shot before he could tell where I was and shot again, to which he superhumanly dodged. He managed to spot me, and I noticed a slight glow in his eyes as he leapt up into the trees.

I unpinned a flashbang and jammed it in a branch where I was hiding and used its blinding effects to slide down the tree and off into the forest. I shouldered my rifle and prepared my pistols in case he was still following me. After a minute or so, it appeared he wasn't.

I regained my bearings by the tall building and decided to try and make my way to it. If anything, I could find a teammate and we could operate together.

I set off towards the giant rustic building in the near distance, and ran into Ruin, who was speeding away from it. He said the enemy was set up with a scorestreak in the building already, and we had both heard Firebreak was already down by what sounded like their equivalent. I told him about my encounter and we both decided to head away from both.

I'd never really never spent much time with Ruin back at base, and as we silently and awkwardly walked through the forest, it was painfully obvious we should've. Besides the lack of conversation, we'd be hard pressed to know each other's reflexes and fighting patterns. We could share the majority of what we'd need to know in an encounter through our DNIs, but it was no substitute for any sort of bond that normal people shared.

"Y'know, all this mind-readin' DNI shit is kinda screwed up, don't ya think?" Ruin brought up as we walked nowhere in particular.

"I was actually just thinking about that" I mused out loud.

Off in the distance, we heard a faint explosion, followed by another, closer pair. We both looked skyward to see two men soaring overhead in a magnificent arc. Ruin and I exchanged quizzical looks before running towards where the two flying men would fall. We arrived in a small clearing to see two men, both dressed in red, wearing small parachutes and high-fiving. One of them, both of which we recognized from the bar, noticed us and we stood off for a few seconds.

One thing I never noticed was that the slightly taller of the two had an eyepatch over his right eye. He wore a samurai helmet, which was circled by a floating deck of cards. Now that I think about it, all the hostiles have had some sort of effect on their heads. The rocket man was wearing a helmet with deer antlers tied to them, orbited by fire, the enemy sniper wore a swatter that was discharging light in all directions, and my most recent encounter was with a boy wearing a skullcap engulfed in green flames.

Suddenly, the rocket man launched himself into the air with his rocket launcher and somehow survived. The other man began firing his grenade launcher at us, which we barely dodged. Ruin rolled out of the way and posted up, using his knee to stabilize the heavy BRM, and began spraying the cyclops man to the ground.

"Ruin, Black Ops, sprayed down Demoman, RED" the announcer suddenly yelled through the concealed loudspeakers. Focusing once more, I searched the sky for the flying man, and tried to swing my LOCUS for a lucky duckhunt, but I had no such luck. The buckethead slashed down on top of Ruin, bashing his head clean in with a shovel.

"Ruin, Black Ops, was Market Gardened by Soldier, RED" the announced, well, announced to everyone in the area as it was just us left. I took out my machine pistols and began firing, hoping to down the 'soldier' before one of his rockets came my way. Fired a rocket at me, oddly, this one was glowing with some sort of red energy unlike the others. I leaped out of the way, but was caught in the mighty blast and flung across the ground, scattering my weapons out of reach. The rocket man wheezily laughed and placed a foot on my chest and a shotgun in my mouth.

"This is why women do not belong on the battlefield!" he yelled for nobody to hear. "Any last words, maggot?" he rhetorically asked.

I gave him the bird.

Just as he was about to pull the trigger, the man looked up and checked his back. "Damn spy…" he muttered. "I'll be back for you, wait there." He commanded before bashing my head with the shotgun, disorienting me to the point of not being able to get up. He walked out a few feet and began studying his surroundings.

"Come on out here you invisible crouton!" he yelled once again, and I noticed a faint shimmer of invisibility behind him. The shimmer shifted and lunged, revealing four blades that embedded themselves into the rocketeer's back.

"Soldier, RED, was shanked by Spectre, Black Ops" the woman again blared, and sure enough, the figure uncloaked to reveal the masked assassin Spectre, wiping the blood from his Reaper blades. He offered me a hand, and I shakily stood. After I regained my bearings, we set off to where Spcetre said he knew there would be teammates.

One thing we couldn't figure was how the soldier knew so quickly Spectre's presence. Spectre said he was more than two hundred feet from the rocket man before he was noticed. Something he said about a 'spy', so maybe they had a invisibility-capable person on their team too? We'd find out soon enough, I guess. One thing is certain, I would have to learn how to do that explosive-jumping thing when I get back to base…

0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0

 **A/N: Well, when I went to save this, Word crashed and I had to start over, which sucks. But hey, I re-wrote it just for you guys, so that's nice. Next update is What Friends do, so check that out if you haven't. Until next time, I've been Pix, thanks for reading!**


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